It feels a little weird to me that a few months ago, I felt like getting to this point would take forever. I have been ready to be done with my school work and moving on with things for so long now that it feels almost… dream-like that I am, minus one exam, done. I feel a lot better about the state of life now than I did a few months ago.
A few months ago, I was pretty much drowning in loneliness and desperation to be done. Not much has changed but the date on the calendar. I am still solitary. I am still here in the Very Yellow Flat. But now, I can see the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. I have finished my papers and my dissertation (well, a draft of it. I have to submit it to my supervisor and then do one more round of edits before I can actually submit it) and am now just preparing for my exam and leaving to the States. Yet it feels like everything has changed.
Instead of bemoaning the boredom of writing academic papers, I am currently working on two novels, which I love. I am planning out my YouTube videos for months to come. I am preparing to start really working on my social media campaigns. I am going to be working on Speaker of Words to prepare it for publication. I am doing things I love.
The pain that this year brought is not erased. I am too malleable for that. But time does make a huge difference. For that, I am grateful.